“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” Proverbs 12:15
If there is anything I wish I had more of, it would be wisdom. The pursuit of wisdom is the primary reason I have a mentor. Wisdom gives us the perspective to see beyond our own feelings and circumstances. Wisdom gives us stability in the midst of chaotic situations. Wisdom is the ability to take advantage of all situations as a learning experience. Wisdom produces growth, where foolishness leads to regression. When a person is wise, no circumstance is wasted. Wisdom seeks after Christ, knowing He is the foundation of all knowledge. I need more wisdom. In fact, I could never have enough wisdom. I pray I will grow in wisdom for the rest of my life.
The Bible is clear that the Word of God is the source of all wisdom. Simply put, if you want to be wise, live by His Word. Read Scripture, memorize it, dwell on it, quote it, make His Word the standard of truth, and God will transform you mind and lead you to wisdom only He can impart.
While these things are vitally important to our walk in godly wisdom, the Bible also makes another important point if we are pursuing wisdom: wise people seek godly counsel (Proverbs 11:14, 19:20, 24:26). Unfortunately, some things are easier said than done when it comes to godly counsel. We can most definitely get counsel - everyone has an opinion and everyone wants to share their thoughts on your life (y’all know what I am talking about!) - however, godly counsel is different…and much harder to come by.
One of the most incredible ways I have seen godly wisdom and counsel manifested in my life is through a spiritual mentor. Throughout my life I have been blessed to have godly mentors that I can trust and hash out problems with. These women in my life have been straight-up, real life God-sends. I believe if you are willing to open yourself up and admit the need for discipleship, the Lord will provide the godly counsel you need. If you are searching for a godly mentor, here are some things to look and pray for as the Lord leads you on the path of godly wisdom.
First things first: pray the Lord will put a godly mentor or counselor in your path that you can deeply trust.
While some people can walk up to a lady they admire in the church, but don’t know very well, and say, “Hi. Will you be my mentor?” that is not always how it goes. While I have seen that method work before, more commonly I believe the Lord places people in relationships that are destined to being life-giving mentor relationships that are straight from the goodness of the Lord to grow us in our faith. Ask the Lord to show you who could be your mentor or ask Him to bring someone into your life that you can fully trust. Allow the Lord to grow the relationship organically and ask him to “knit your souls together” in a way that only He can do (James 1:5).
Don’t be surprised if your mentor is around your Mom’s age or older - in fact seek that out! Often the Lord graciously allows us to learn from someone who has gone before us which means we don’t always have to make mistakes in order to learn what is right. This can save us a lot of heartbreak and hassle. I believe many people think that if you are not in the same life stage as someone you asking advice from, then they “just won’t get you” or “they don’t know what it is like this day in age”. Y’all, that’s wrong. Scripture says, “There is nothing new under the sun.” (Ecc. 1:9) Listen to your elders and cherish their godly counsel. They know and they have lived through more than we have. Older mentors are a gift, look for these ladies and cling to them as the gift from God that they are.
Stand firm on the Word of the Lord.
A good mentor is completely useless if they are not grounded in the Word of God. All advice, even from earth’s most brilliant minds, will prove to be void if they don’t all lead you back to Jesus Christ.
Live life together.
It is invaluable to be able to have someone to call who gives advice that you know you can trust. However, there is another level of love and trust that comes from just knowing your mentor. Get to know her and her people, and in turn let her learn you and your life. Not all answers in life are black and white, and it really helps your mentor if she has context into your own life dynamics and your backstory.
Be willing to say the hard things, and hear the hard things back.
Gaining wisdom through a godly mentor is great but, unless you are willing to share the not-so-pretty things of your life, you will never get anywhere. Go there with your mentor, tell her your struggles. A good godly mentor will wrap you with grace, just like God does, when you expose your brokenness. And from there you guys can work through it together.
With that being said, be willing to hear the not-so-fun answers back. Sometimes we need to hear the hard things, and we especially need to hear it if we are about to make a huge decision. It may hurt now, but it will most definitely be worth it in the end. Do yourself a favor: take the advice - you know you’ll regret it if you don’t!
Remember your mentor is human, too.
Always, always come back to Jesus. Your mentor will let you down at some point, but remember that relationships have give and take. As much as your mentor will pour into you, take every opportunity you can to encourage her back. The Lord created us to be people who need each other. Some of the greatest examples of Christ I have seen in my life is through people who simply exposed their real life to me, in all the bad and good, and who showed me love no matter who I was or what I had done.
Now get out there, find some fellow warriors in the faith to lock arms with and fight hand in hand against the enemy with godly wisdom and for a godly life that no power of hell can stand against.