Expectant by Sarah Strong
If you were to ask me how I was and I said, “Great!” it would be a lie. That’s where I am right now, if I’m being honest with you. Right now, things are a little tough. Let me tell you why. My here and now is such a strange mixture of emotions that I feel like my head is spinning—and has been spinning for a few months now.
In exactly twelve days I will walk across a stage in a cap and gown and graduate from THE greatest university in the country (depending on when you’re reading this, I may have already reached alumni status—go Vols, y’all). I’ve been thinking about this day for years. But honestly, I’m dreading it. With graduation comes expectations.
Expectations for you to have a job.
Expectations for you to move to a new city.
Expectations for you to have your next steps figured out.
Right now, I have none of that. And that’s tough.
See, I’ve always been the girl with a plan. I like to know what’s coming next and I like to be prepared for it. But right now that’s not the case—I have no clue where I’m headed. I’ve applied and interviewed and sent follow-up emails till my fingers want to fall off, but for some reason things just aren’t playing out in the timeline I wanted and expected them to. And if you know me, you know it’s killing me.
But let’s backtrack a little bit. If you read one of my previous blog posts you’ll remember that my word for the year was “expectant.” When I chose this word (let’s be honest, it really chose me) I don’t think I realized how much I would end up relying on it. But throughout this time of transition, I’ve gone back to it over and over again.
I think the hardest thing about this season is the fact that I have very little control over my circumstances. There is only so much I can do before the situation is completely out of my hands. So if I’m not expectant, I’ll lose hope real quick.
So expectant is what I will continue to be.
Expectant that the Lord will provide (Luke 12:31):
31 But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Expectant that this is all in His timing (Acts 1:7):
And he said unto them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power.
Expectant that His plan is far greater than my own (Jeremiah 29:11):
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
So if we’re being honest (maybe even a little vulnerable) that’s where I am right now. Not great, but hopeful, and very expectant that the Lord is using this season to refine my faith and strengthen my trust in Him. Stay expectant, my friends. And pray for me to do the same.
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